


Practice Room 1021

by candysams



Category: Given (Manga)
Genre: Breakup, Canon Compliant, M/M, Manga Spoilers, Pre-Series, aki and uge have a messy relationship youve been warned, carefully rated m for implied sexual content, the band members show up but only in one chapter each, this reads like a series of one-shots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2020-01-16
Packaged: 2020-10-26 21:46:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20749259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/candysams/pseuds/candysams
Summary: The ups and downs of Akihiko and Ugetsu's relationship, from their first breakup to their last.





	1. Fermata

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after...they broke up.

Their breakup was still fresh in his mind when he woke up, sliding out of an unfamiliar bed and picking his clothes off the floor—along with his last shreds of dignity. The woman who had taken him in last night was still fast asleep, an arm resting over the side of the bed Akihiko had occupied a couple seconds ago. He left the room to change, not wanting to wake her before he could make his escape. It could only make this worse.

According to his dying phone, he only had twenty-three minutes before rehearsal started and ten of those minutes were likely to be spent in transport. He didn’t even have time to pick up his violin, left behind in the basement apartment that was the last place he wanted to step foot in right now. He had spent the last two years of his life sharing that space with Ugetsu, always waiting for him to come home like a puppy devoted to his master. Now, he wouldn’t even be able to stomach the mere sight of the building because of one stupid sentence.

_I think we should end this_.

Akihiko climbed onto his bike, resisting the urge to just drive out of this town and never look back. He doubted any of his stuff was still viable; Ugetsu’s destructive tendencies tended to come into play whenever Akihiko was involved. He wondered if he still even had a violin or if it had splintered against the wall like an already-rotten baseball bat, just another piece of his life Ugetsu could do with as he pleased.

On the other hand, maybe he was thinking too highly of himself. Ugetsu had looked awfully calm when Akihiko stormed out, clearly unwanted in the place he used to call his home. Perhaps he had simply packed up his stuff and left it on the front porch for Akihiko to pick up, to save them both the trouble of seeing each other again. Akihiko didn’t know which scenario he preferred less.

He should’ve known Ugetsu would grow tired of him, eventually. Someone as exciting as Ugetsu, constantly meeting equally as talented people from all over the world, wining and dining with musicians who deserved to be in his company—it was a wonder he had given Akihiko nearly four years of his time. It was wishful thinking on Akihiko’s part that he might get any longer than that, as hard as he had tried to make himself irreplaceable.

Akihiko parked his bike in the nearest parking lot to the music building, following a trickle of students into the building for morning classes. Akihiko had chamber rehearsal in the morning and music theory right after, but there was no way he could sit through an hour-long lecture after the night he had just had. He needed a shower and a place to sleep and he definitely needed to find a dual specialist and ask to borrow their violin for rehearsal today. Maybe for the entire week, too.

Most of the music majors were walking the same path as Akihiko, guiding him upstairs to the instrument lockers. If he was lucky, he’d find a spare violin case in one of the cubbies and be able to track down the owner. He would sweeten his offer, if he had to. A new violin didn’t fit in his new budget, but it was necessary to continue his studies and the current state of his own violin was unknown. If he had to—

“You forgot this.” He hadn’t been paying enough attention to the others in the room to notice Ugetsu, hidden behind two cellists and leaning against Akihiko’s assigned locker. He held Akihiko’s violin case out as if he were extending an olive branch—an olive branch Akihiko could no longer take at face value. The musicians nearby gave them a wide berth, intimidated by Ugetsu’s reputation and Akihiko’s presence. Or, maybe they could tell that something had changed between them and they wanted to get out before the crash of the cymbals made their eardrums ring.

“What are you doing here?” Akihiko took his violin case, if only because he had five minutes until rehearsal, and he didn’t know how long Ugetsu would wait for him. Ugetsu didn’t have the same orchestra class-requirement that the rest of the music majors had, given his regular international recitals and competitions. He was too good to play amongst the rest of them, only joining occasionally as a soloist when the time and piece pleased him enough.

Try as he might, Akihiko couldn’t help but feel special simply because Ugetsu had no obligation to be here this early in the morning but there he was, bringing Akihiko his instrument like a knight in shining armor.

“You didn’t come home last night.” _Home_? Was he still allowed to call it that? “I’m leaving for Berlin tomorrow.” Ugetsu continued, seemingly unaware of Akihiko’s internal crisis.

“I know.” Akihiko flicked open his case, trying not to let his surprise show when he found his instrument intact. As he gently plucked the strings with his fingers, he wondered if Ugetsu had tuned it for him too. He liked to do that occasionally, so that he and Akihiko blended perfectly in his ears.

“I’ll be in practice room 1021 until ten.” That was thirty minutes after rehearsal ended—assuming that was an invitation from Ugetsu and not a threat.

_You have until eleven to get out of my house._

It sounded like an invitation at least, but Ugetsu didn’t stay long enough for Akihiko to clarify. He was still unsteady on his feet after last night, but Ugetsu strode out of the room with all the confidence in the world. Like nothing bad or life-changing had happened between them since high school.

Maybe nothing bad had happened and last night was a fever dream. Maybe he was still feverish, and Ugetsu had dropped him off today because he could barely see straight. Maybe they really weren’t done for good like Ugetsu had said.

Akihiko could care less about rehearsal, but he pushed through the hour just to make it end. He kept his violin with him afterwards, trailing after a string quartet making their way down the stairs for extra practice in the reserved practice rooms. He stopped at the hallway entrance as the quartet continued to their room, double-checking the reservation binder. Sure enough, Ugetsu had reserved room 1021 until ten.

In fact, Ugetsu had reserved the same room at the same time all week. And a couple times the week before that. And a couple other times throughout the entire month.

Akihiko vividly recalled Ugetsu describing the school’s practice rooms as “soul-suckingly boring” and “a good place to die”, so he couldn’t fathom a reason for why Ugetsu had started using them recently. Especially considering, as far as Akihiko remembered, he still practiced the same amount at home as he always did. The only thing practice room 1021 had that their home did not was a piano, but Akihiko doubted Ugetsu’s desire to tune with a piano outweighed his dislike of everything else about the room. A school piano in a room as far down the hallway as 1021 was likely to be out of tune anyway, although the school staff would tune every piano in the building—regardless of how easily forgettable its location was—if Ugetsu simply requested it.

It was a long walk down the hallway, but Akihiko had made up his mind. Even if this ended in another shouting match, the practice room walls were soundproof. The least he could do was figure out where they stood, even if they stood together as nothing at all. Once he knew, he could try to do something about it.

The painted numbers on the door of the room were starting to peel, unlike the more frequently used rooms at the beginning of the hallway. Akihiko stared at a chip in the 2 and wondered when it would be painted over like the others, made to look newer and better. He wondered when Ugetsu would get rid of him, when he would be replaced by someone newer and better. Maybe he had met another musician abroad, and he was simply saving Akihiko’s heart by telling him now.

The motives Ugetsu held for anything unrelated to music would always be a mystery to Akihiko.

The door swung open in front of him, surprising Akihiko. He hadn’t noticed Ugetsu creeping towards the door through the small window, his violin resting atop an old piano. He must have been waiting for Akihiko, since the closed folder on his music stand suggested that he hadn’t even started practicing yet. He had waited for Akihiko.

“I was wondering if you got lost.” Ugetsu cheekily said, as confident as always in everything. He picked up his instrument and tapped his bow against the music stand. “Play with me, Aki.”

He couldn’t refuse. This could be the last time he got to play with Ugetsu, he couldn’t let that opportunity slip through his fingers. If they were running out of time, Akihiko wanted every possible second. He clicked open his case and pulled out his violin, wasting no time in tuning as Ugetsu tapped the keys of the piano for him.

Akihiko pulled the first piece from Ugetsu’s folder and arranged the sheet music on the stand, dutifully taking on the role of Ugetsu’s accompaniment. They breathed in together before starting, in perfect sync after so many years. Akihiko had helped Ugetsu practice this piece a dozen times before, the first when they were still in high school. He was sure that Ugetsu wouldn’t be playing this piece in Berlin tomorrow, but he had chosen to practice it anyway. He had chosen to practice it for Akihiko.

Akihiko wasn’t perfect, but Ugetsu was. The only thing that remained constant was their breaths, in sync at every rest and stop until the final chord. It was harmonic in a way their relationship hadn’t been for the longest time, beautiful but still rough around the edges—at least on Akihiko’s parts. For the first time, he wondered if Ugetsu had been on to something when he had mentioned starting anew last night.

They played through once, then practiced smaller phrases together until Ugetsu was satisfied. Their precious time together had dwindled down to four minutes when they both packed their instruments away, the music left on the stand for Akihiko to take home with him. He would, though he wouldn’t practice it by himself. Akihiko wasn’t on Ugetsu’s level and he never would be, but he would always be honored to play beside him like it was the last time.

“Do you know why I picked room 1021?” Ugetsu asked, running his finger across the sticker on the piano that identified which room it belonged to.

“It has a piano.” Akihiko felt dumb the second the words left his mouth, but that was the only reason he had been able to think of before he arrived. There had to be something else, Akihiko just couldn’t figure it out.

“What else does it have?” Ugetsu closed the lid over the piano keys, assuring they would receive no harm no matter what happened next.

“Privacy?” _from me_, Akihiko didn’t say. He felt like a shrew under a hawk’s gaze when Ugetsu turned to look at him, the feeling only intensifying as Ugetsu drew closer. His breath hitched, as if this same scenario hadn’t occurred between them a million times. Usually it was him advancing, but now he didn’t know if his advances would be accepted.

A delicate, skilled hand dragged up the front of his shirt and curled around his neck, choosing to rest there. The hand was used to pull him down a couple centimeters, a gentle kiss placed on Akihiko’s jaw as a result. It was like Ugetsu was urging him awake in the morning, trying to open Akihiko’s eyes in the gentlest way possible so that he could see whatever Ugetsu saw in this room.

He wanted so badly to see it.

“Take care of the house while I’m gone.” Ugetsu’s breath tickled the short hairs around Akihiko’s ear, the ghost of a breeze. Akihiko would’ve frozen at the sudden knowledge that he was allowed back into the place he had called home the last couple years, but Ugetsu pulling away reminded him that their time was up like a bucket of ice water dumped over his head. Ugetsu was leaving right now and there were so many things still left unsaid between them.

“Have a safe trip.” Akihiko said, the only thought that managed to leave the tip of his tongue.

He loved Ugetsu more than anything, even music. He could die peacefully on the floor of practice room 1021 once he said it aloud.

He was sure Ugetsu knew it anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus points if you can figure out why Ugetsu picked 1021....
> 
> Akihiko and Ugetsu have a pretty complicated relationship, so this work is going to be my interpretation of how it might have gone from pre-series to the point they officially break it off for good. We'll mostly hear from Akihiko, but Ugetsu will pop in occasionally! Sadly, I only have one planned appearance for Haruki and Mafuyu, but none for Uenoyama yet. If you read this, let me know if you'd like to see Ue in this fic!
> 
> Also, brace yourself for irregular updates -.- I'll do my best
> 
> Come talk to me on [tumblr](https://candysams.tumblr.com/) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/candysamstwit)!


	2. Tango

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It takes two to tango.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please head the updated tags/ratings! This chapter's probably the spiciest thing I've ever written *.* (still not that spicy though)

Akihiko had been asleep until a body pressed against his back, deceptively warm considering the cold hands that followed. They slipped under his shirt to steal his warmth, rubbing down the front of his torso to take advantage of the heat he had built in sleep. His abs tensed, shying away from the cool touch, but the hands were merciless and pressed flat against his skin, sapping away his warmth and sending a shiver up his spine. The intruder in his bed chuckled quietly, the sound only reaching Akihiko’s ears because of their proximity.

“You’re warm, Aki.” Ugetsu murmured, the cold tip of his nose brushing against Akihiko’s neck. He slung a leg over both of Akihiko’s, rendering his sleepy and merciless bedmate defenseless to the onslaught of cold extremities. Akihiko wanted to break free, especially when he felt Ugetsu’s cold toes dragging up the side of his shin, but the promise of a warm body next to his was too inviting after such a long time spent sleeping alone.

If Akihiko bothered to think about it, he would remember that Ugetsu was still supposed to be traipsing around North America, his flight home scheduled for the end of the week. If he hadn’t been so tired from a long day of lectures and practice and work, he would’ve asked Ugetsu about it. However, asking that question might cross one of many invisible lines set by Ugetsu and break this moment of peace between them, and Akihiko would much rather bask in the warmth of Ugetsu’s chest pressed to his back than think too hard about it. Ugetsu’s sloth-like tendencies easily dragged Akihiko back to sleep, all his thoughts being pushed away until morning.

Tiny shreds of dawn were creeping in through the high windows by the time Akihiko woke up, later than usual. Ugetsu’s grip had loosened throughout the night; only one arm remained draped over Akihiko’s waist, the fabric of his shirt bunched loosely in his sleeping hand. That made it easy enough for Akihiko to turn around, granting himself his first look at Ugetsu in nearly a month. He was going to be late to class if he looked for much longer.

Ugetsu looked tired, even in his sleep. A month of non-stop traveling and performances could do that to a musician, even one as talented and stubborn as Ugetsu. Akihiko reached forward and brushed Ugetsu’s bangs out of the way, earning a better look at his face. There was a zit on his forehead, untouched and hidden behind the curtain of black hair. When Akihiko smoothed his thumb over Ugetsu’s browbone, he felt the unconscious tension dissipate from Ugetsu’s face. It was nice to be reminded that Ugetsu was human, that he struggled through life just like everybody else, despite how beautiful he still looked at the end of the day.

Ugetsu didn’t stir, even as Akihiko ran his hands over his face, tracing the bridge of his nose and the slope of his cheeks and the bow of his lips as if he could learn something new about the face he saw every night in his dreams. Uegstu didn’t even stir when Akihiko ran his fingers through his hair, tucking his bangs behind an unpierced ear to keep his face visible. Akihiko thought it was nice just to look at Ugetsu’s face without feeling the annoyance or bitterness Akihiko sometimes felt when Ugetsu spoke.

In sleep he only had to be Ugetsu, the boy Akihiko had fallen in love with. Awake, he was also the boy who broke Akihiko’s heart.

Ugetsu shifted, breaking the spell. He took his arm back, pushing the covers down to his waist before stilling again. Akihiko snorted when he saw Ugetsu’s now-exposed shirt, buttoned crookedly in his haste to change in the dark last night. Ugetsu was usually composed to the point of being stuck-up, only looking disheveled when he desired to be caught, but at home he couldn’t even be bothered to button up his shirt properly. If he turned too much, the shirt might tear.

At least, that’s what Akihiko told himself when he dragged his fingers across Ugetsu’s exposed collarbone and down his sternum until he reached the first button. He undid it easily, even with one hand. He worked slowly, drinking in the sight of Ugetsu’s increasingly exposed skin while also trying not to wake him. Still, he couldn’t resist running a hand up Ugetsu’s chest once his shirt was completely open, basking in the involuntary shudder he caused.

Ugetsu turned onto his back, away from Akihiko’s hands, the dark purple fabric of his shirt pooling on top of the sheets and framing his pale chest. “I just got home and you’re already undressing me.” Ugetsu sleepily mumbled, his eyes still closed. “At least say hello first.”

Despite his grumbling, he made no move to cover himself by either closing his shirt or pulling up the blanket. Akihiko took advantage of this, pursing his lips and blowing a stream of cool air across his exposed chest, eliciting a soft gasp from Ugetsu. “Welcome home, Ugetsu.” Akihiko chuckled. It could be considered payback for the cold hands last night.

“So mean, Aki.” Ugetsu huffed. He tried to find the sides of his shirt, but his attempt was quickly thwarted by Akihiko grabbing his hand and locking their fingers together, making it impossible for Ugetsu to cover himself.

“You’re the one who couldn’t button your shirt properly.” Akihiko teased. He used his free hand to draw circles on the plane of Ugetsu’s stomach, delighted with every twitch he felt under his fingertips. “What if you ripped a hole in your shirt?”

“I somehow think you would’ve preferred that.” Ugetsu opened one eye, looking more like he was salaciously winking than trying to get out of his current situation. “Insatiable.” Ugetsu swatted at the hand on his stomach, but not hard enough to smack it away.

It felt like a challenge.

Akihiko couldn’t refuse. He let his fingers move like he was playing a scale on the piano, only his piano keys were Ugetsu’s ribs. Ugetsu closed his eyes and squirmed, his breath hitching as Akihiko tickled him. He gave in when Akihiko let go of his hand, assaulting both his side and his neck with equal ferocity. Ugetsu’s lips curled into a smile, turning onto his side and curling up in an effort to escape from Akihiko’s touch. Akihiko didn’t relent until Ugetsu started to laugh, erasing all signs of tiredness that had prevailed during his sleep.

“Rude.” Ugetsu gasped for breath, his cheek pressed against the pillow. Still, Akihiko couldn’t find a shred of malice in his tone.

“You should really go to the beach more.” Akihiko curled around Ugetsu’s smaller body, inching his hand across the sheets until Ugetsu let him rest it on his side. “You’re starting to blind me.”

“Then let me close my shirt!” Ugetsu turned back onto his back, quickly reaching for the purple material in order to cover himself. Akihiko laughed, easily pressing the fabric into the sheets with his fist, making it inaccessible to Ugetsu.

“I think this look suits you.” Akihiko assured him, receiving a nasty pinch on the back of his hand.

“If you’re not going to let me sleep, at least make me coffee.” Ugetsu pouted, eyes fluttering closed as if his exhaustion had hit him again. Akihiko would argue he no longer needed coffee, considering the amount of color his face was flushed with after the tickling. In fact, Akihiko knew how to turn Ugetsu’s face from a lovely shade of pink to a passionate, rosy red.

“I have a better idea.” Akihiko murmured. He let his hand drift south inconspicuously, watching Ugetsu’s face for a reaction. It wasn’t until his hand reached Ugetsu’s hip that Ugetsu’s eyes flew open, as if he understood just what Akihiko was trying to do. Akihiko smirked, dipping two fingers under the waistband of Ugetsu’s pants and tugging, exposing the pale skin of Ugetsu’s hip to the cold morning air. “Look, you’re just as pale down here as you are everywhere else.” He teased, pushing his thumb gently into the divot made by Ugetsu’s pelvis.

“You’re one to talk.” Ugetsu breathlessly said, blindly reaching for the end of Akihiko’s shirt and pulling it up, exposing pale abs that welcomed his warm touch. “I should send you to a tanning salon. It’s trendy in America.”

Akihiko laughed—a big, head-thrown-back kind of laugh. He propped himself up on one arm and leaned forward, closing the distance between their faces until their noses were touching. “It would be a shame if I got a spray tan.” He whispered lowly, thumb moving in circles around Ugetsu’s hipbone.

Ugetsu didn’t say anything, but his pupils were blown wide and his gaze switched rapidly between Akihiko’s eyes and his pierced lips. His skilled hands traveled across Akihiko’s chest, anticipating his next move. Akihiko let the tension linger between them for a second, their breaths mixing in the small space between their faces until Akihiko finally moved, his hand traveling further into Ugetsu’s pants.

“I might get your sheets _dirty_.” Akihiko growled, pressing his lips against Ugetsu’s with a newfound desperation.

He lived every day like it might be the last one he got to spend with Ugetsu. He walked a tightrope of emotions because it had been Ugetsu who had broken it off between them, but it was also Ugetsu who continued to invite Akihiko into his bed. One wrong move and they would be ruined forever. One right move and maybe everything would end up alright.

It was Ugetsu who had said they should end this, but could they ever really end?

Akihiko didn’t think so, and he liked to think Ugetsu agreed with him. It takes two to tango, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugetsu gets to shine in the next chapter....  
The mature rating is just to be safe for this chapter but I (probably) won't even get this mildly steamy again ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ we'll see  
Also, Ue has officially been planned into this fic! We'll meet him sometime after we meet Haruki :)
> 
> Come talk to me on [tumblr](https://candysams.tumblr.com/) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/candysamstwit)!


	3. I have no gifts to bring, shall I play for you instead?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I wish you and give you all the best._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a stubborn write, but I made it through!  
The boys are back in the practice room today, and we get to hear from Ugetsu's POV

__

Akihiko called him a brat sometimes—all the time, really—and maybe he was, but it was straight-up rude for him to completely ignore Ugetsu’s nearly perfect run-through of Biber’s _Passacaglia_. Akihiko hadn’t looked up once throughout the entire piece, hovering behind the piano and scowling at the screen of his laptop like it had insulted his mother. If Ugetsu hadn’t been well-aware of Akihiko’s inability to replace said laptop, he might have swept the device off the top of the piano and let it clatter to the floor like a delayed applause.

Ignoring his _Passacaglia_ was probably the greatest sin Akihiko had committed since last night. It was a far worse crime than any of Ugetsu’s perceived brattiness could have committed, especially since he was sparing the laptop from harm.

Sighing, Ugetsu put away his violin, leaving the case on the floor next to Akihiko’s untouched instrument. Akihiko was supposed to be helping Ugetsu practice for their performance final, not attempting to develop heat vision in order to destroy the second most expensive object he owned.

“What’s so interesting, Aki?” Ugetsu asked, pushing the lid of the laptop partially closed. The panic that crossed Akihiko’s face amused him, as if merely closing the lid would completely destroy whatever he had been working on for the last hour or so. The lid was back up in the blink of an eye, the screen glowing white against Akihiko’s pale face.

“I’m buying a drum set.” Akihiko grumbled. He tore his gaze from the computer just long enough to glare at Ugetsu for interrupting his concentration before locking it back on the screen. Frankly, the fact that Akihiko could concentrate on his computer for so long while Ugetsu was practicing more than miffed the latter. He needed another run-through before the final, since it was clearly not good enough to draw in his best friend’s attention.

“And they don’t have your size?” Ugetsu teased, doing his best to get another look from those green eyes, even if it was a glare.

“Shut up.” Akihiko held up his middle finger and waved it in Ugetsu’s face, as if it could ward off whatever evil spirit he thought resided there. Ugetsu nipped at his fingertip, laughing when Akihiko yanked his hand out of reach and wiped the saliva off on his pants.

Since he wasn’t receiving any more answers anytime soon, Ugetsu squeezed behind the piano and dropped his chin onto Akihiko’s shoulder, getting his first glimpse at the screen Akihiko had been so intently studying for the last hour. It was a bidding screen for a moderately-priced Mapex drum set, although the price steadily rose as Ugetsu watched. The set was clearly not in brand-new condition, but the current price seemed reasonable considering its years of use.

“A used drum set?” Ugetsu tried to hide his distaste. Theoretically, there was nothing wrong with playing a secondhand instrument, provided the previous owner had taken good care of it. Ugetsu’s first violin had belonged to another child before, and it had been passed down to another child after him. There was no point in keeping already-replaced instruments until they collected dust when a different musician could thrive with it.

But that was different, in a sense. Ugetsu had been fumbling on the strings, still learning how to balance a bow in his hand. Akihiko was at the level of a professional, even if he hadn’t studied percussion half as long as he’d been playing the violin. A musician like him deserved to build his drum set based on what fit him best, not on the price tag. Besides, there was no guarantee this set was still in playable condition and wouldn’t arrive covered in duct tape and wood glue.

At the same time, Ugetsu wasn’t ignorant. He knew that hard work and natural talent only got him so far in life, while money was the real thing that had opened the doors to him being a performer. It was easy for him to throw himself into practice, to spend hours fine-tuning his performances because he didn’t have to worry about making the next payment on his instrument or tuition or house. He could simply be a musician.

Akihiko could not. He couldn’t afford to own the number of instruments he could play, even if he bought all of them through bidding wars. He couldn’t afford a place to stay on top of tuition, either. If Ugetsu could have one wish granted, it would put an end to Akihiko’s money troubles. They’d both be allowed to just _live_.

If Ugetsu could, he would take care of Akihiko for the rest of their lives. He’d be free to dazzle Ugetsu with whole-hearted performances and never stumble home at two in the morning reeking of something Ugetsu knew all too well but refused to name, knowing that acknowledging his friend’s actions would only make it too real. Akihiko could be his, and his alone, in whatever capacity he wanted him. They might even be able to stop this awful dance between them, the one that could only end in heartbreak once Ugetsu made his way off the dancefloor.

But Akihiko wouldn’t want that. He didn’t want to be a charity case, and he hadn’t yet decided what direction he wanted music to take him. Ugetsu had to accept _that_, but he didn’t have to accept _this_.

He moved back around to the front of the piano, almost pleased to be ignored by Akihiko again. He continued to be ignored even when he stood on top of the piano bench, looming over Akihiko like a hawk watching its prey. Then he pounced, snatching up the laptop and holding it high above his head, where Akihiko wouldn’t be able to reach unless he dared to climb onto the piano bench and risk both of them toppling over and sending the laptop crashing into the ground.

“Asshole! Give that back!” It was a good thing the practice room was soundproof, or else they’d attract unwanted attention from a worried passerby. Not that Ugetsu cared. People were free to look at him all they wanted, as long as they didn’t touch. Like a sculpture in a museum. “Murata, I’m serious!”

“Not until the bidding is over!” Ugetsu replied, his legs holding steady even as Akihiko tugged at the belt loops of his pants and the loose fabric of his shirt in an attempt to get him to lower his hands.

“Do you want me to lose or something?” Akihiko growled, swiping at the laptop but failing to gain possession of it. The height of the piano bench negated the advantage he usually held against Ugetsu, and he was too broad to squeeze onto the small space on the piano bench that Ugetsu didn’t occupy.

“Yes.” Ugetsu honestly answered. Akihiko stopped fighting him immediately, his face falling; frustration was replaced with something Ugetsu might dare to call hatred, if he didn’t know better. For a second, he worried that Akihiko might leave, and then he wondered why he was so worried that it might happen.

Try as he might, Akihiko could never leave.

Without the threat of Akihiko stealing his laptop back, Ugetsu lowered it enough to look at the screen. Akihiko no longer had the highest bid, so he closed the laptop and tucked it under his arm, descending warily from the piano bench.

Akihiko glared at him but made no attempt to take his laptop back.

“Tomorrow, we’re going to the music store.” Ugetsu declared. He set the laptop back on top of the piano, pleased when Akihiko didn’t make a move to touch it. “And you are going to try out all the drum pieces and pick the ones you like the most. You’re going to build your own drum set the way you want.”

“But I can’t—” Ugetsu shushed him with a finger pressed to his lips. He held it there for a second, then he dragged it downward, smiling when it caught on Akihiko’s bottom lip. Akihiko rolled his eyes when Ugetsu gently played with his lip ring, but the action kept him silent.

“It’s on me.” Ugetsu said, dropping his hand.

“I can’t accept this.” Akihiko immediately said, as expected. “I can’t pay you back, it’ll take me years.” This time, Ugetsu shut him up with a kiss.

“Just play for me, Aki.” He whispered. “And when the drums arrive, play those for me too. I want to hear you play.” It was a rare request from him. Usually, he asked for them to play together, because it was easier to hide how much Akihiko affected him when they were both focused on the music.

Eventually, Ugetsu would have to let him go for good. They’d never be able to play together again, he was sure, after whatever events finally drove them apart. Despite all that, Ugetsu wanted to listen to Akihiko for the rest of his life.

The more he heard him play, the less likely he was to forget.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugetsu is hard to write... tbh their relationship is hard to write in general... so complicated....
> 
> Next update might be a little further away, I have to focus on tests this week *.* but it will be coming :) I'm having a lot of fun exploring these two goombas
> 
> Come chat with me on [tumblr](https://candysams.tumblr.com/) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/candysamstwit)!


	4. Epiphany

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akihiko's birthday was otherwise forgettable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I started planning this chapter, I planned it with Akihiko's birthday in mind! And then I forgot *.* I had to rush this chapter out, but it's still Aki's birthday where I live!
> 
> Enjoy!

Sometimes, Akihiko could feel nothing but bitterness.

He was angry at his parents for leaving without a second thought about their high school-aged son, letting their phone numbers change without keeping him updated. He was annoyed at his stand partner, a talented musician thirty centimeters shorter than him who couldn’t see the music if he raised the stand too high. He was frustrated at this _thing_ with Ugetsu that left him unbearably lonely every time the man left, and sometimes while he was still around.

Back in high school, his relationship with Ugetsu had been exhilarating. They were teenagers going behind their parents’ backs and sneaking kisses in the school bathroom, best friends and boyfriends and partners in every way. Akihiko had never wanted it to change. He had been grateful when the opportunity to move in with Ugetsu arose, erasing the fear of being caught and disappointing his parents because he had accidentally fallen in love. At the time, being with Ugetsu was freeing.

Now, it felt like a cage.

The loneliness was bearable when Ugetsu was home, even when someone else was with him. At least then Akihiko had a range of other emotions to stew in, and usually his own ‘someone else’ to distract him. Still, every fight between them only heightened Akihiko’s loneliness when Ugetsu left again.

He was alone on his birthday and he was bitter about it. His parents should be there, even if it was only to support him financially. Ugetsu should make up his mind already. Akihiko felt like he was suffocating whenever he practiced in the house alone.

A cough behind him reminded Akihiko of what he was supposed to be doing before the pen in his hand splintered apart and stained his palm blue. The practice room reservation binder sat on the music stand in front of him, untouched. If Akihiko bothered to look, he’d probably find a line of students behind him, waiting for him to come to his senses, write down his name a couple times, and scram. They were all likely too intimidated by him to tell him to hurry up, but he was still grateful for whoever had been bold enough to cough so loudly. Once he reserved a room for the rest of the week, he could go home and throw himself a pity party there.

Akihiko flipped the binder open to the current week, tracing his finger down the list of rooms until he reached 1021. He wasn’t sure when it had become habit for him to reserve that room, but it was familiar to him now. It was Ugetsu’s room of choice, so he usually defaulted to it. Ugetsu would show up at 1021 regardless of who reserved the room, so it was easier to just reserve the room and spare their relationships with their fellow university students before one of them finally snapped and punched one—or both—of them. Even though Ugetsu was out of town, Akihiko couldn’t help but feel disappointed when he saw that someone else had already booked the room solid for the week. He was about to reserve the room across the hall until he noticed the name of the musician who had stolen room 1021 first.

Murata Ugetsu.

Of course, it was him. The university must have given him special treatment and allowed him to reserve practice rooms for the week before anyone else, since he was going to be overseas. It was weird though; Ugetsu wouldn’t be back until Friday, but he had booked the entire week. Akihiko flipped back a week and saw that too had been booked solid by Ugetsu. Not a single person could touch that practice room until Ugetsu released his death grip on it.

Except… Akihiko could.

Chances were, no one else cared enough to put two and two together and realize 1021 was completely unoccupied. There were enough practice rooms to go around, even with one of them becoming Ugetsu’s personal practice room. No one checked to make sure rooms were occupied the person who reserved them either, since any conflicts were usually settled between students. Akihiko was free to use the room as much as he pleased.

He dropped the pen without even signing his name, closing the binder and heading to the rooms beyond it. The relief from the line of students behind him was palpable, the hushed whispers growing into the normal white noise created by college students chattering amongst themselves.

Akihiko forced himself to walk normally, passing an entire hallway of mostly empty rooms before he reached 1021 near the very end. He wasn’t sure whether Ugetsu had done something to the room and that was why he had locked it down while he was gone or if he had just reserved the room without regard for his travel schedule, but Akihiko couldn’t help but feel hopeful that he would find some sign of Ugetsu there, even if it was just a left behind chip of rosin. Even though he knew Ugetsu couldn’t come home just yet, he couldn’t help but want it more than anything.

The door of each practice room had a small slot that was meant for a reservation card. Students were supposed to fill out a reservation card inside the room and display it on the door, telling maintenance and other students that the room was occupied. Some students forgot to do it altogether, some students left their cards blank, and some wrote a fun message or a smiling face on theirs.

Sometime before he left, Ugetsu had scribbled a message on his reservation card with a thick black marker. It was completely impossible to look at the door without having your eyes drawn to the note, written large enough that the few words took up the entire index card-sized paper.

_Happy Birthday, Aki_

_2019 10 21_

Inevitably, Akihiko would have seen the note. He would have noticed it in passing on his way to another room, the characters too bold and familiar for him to ignore. It might have taken him another day or two, but he would have found Ugetsu’s message eventually.

By chance, he found it on his birthday.

The bitterness he had been filled with disappeared immediately, being replaced by a mix of more positive emotions. He had avoided messaging Ugetsu all day because he didn’t want to interrupt his concentration before the competition, but he had to call him now. Three words had reduced him to tears in the hallway.

Ugetsu answered on the third ring, sometime after Akihiko stumbled into the practice room with the reservation card in his hands. “Kaji, it’s five in the morning.” Ugetsu masked his fondness with a yawn, but Akihiko could tell he was smiling on the other side of the phone.

“I got your note.” Akihiko choked out, watching a tear drop onto the corner of the paper. It just barely missed the ink. “Couldn’t get me a gift card too?” He joked, even as his heart pounded in his chest like he had just ran a marathon. It wasn’t every day that Akihiko felt like this, even around Ugetsu.

“Happy Birthday, Aki.” Ugetsu softly said. “I wondered when you’d find it. I had to tell maintenance not to throw it away until I came back.”

“Mailing a card would’ve been easier.”

“Would you have cried as much?” Ugetsu teased.

“Shut up.” Akihiko frantically wiped away his tears with the palm of his hand. He wasn’t sure when he had last cried, but maybe it had something to do with how easily he cried now. “I’ll let you get back to sleep.”

“I’ll be home soon, Aki.” Ugetsu mumbled. “I hope you had a good birthday.”

“I did.” He hadn’t, up until now. He had wallowed in loneliness all through his morning classes and rehearsal. The only light at the end of the tunnel had been the coffee his stand partner had bought him after declaring him ‘more assholey than normal’. He just needed to be reminded of everything he still held out hope for. “Good luck tomorrow. I love you.”

Akihiko held his breath when Ugetsu didn’t immediately reply. He regretted saying it the second the words came out, and then he felt glad that he finally said it. It wasn’t a lie, but it had been nearly a year since the last time he had declared it so freely to Ugetsu. First, he worried he might not get an answer at all. Then he wondered if the answer might hurt him more than anything else.

“I love you too, Aki.” Relief flooded Akihiko’s body when he heard those words. He knew Ugetsu meant it because, despite the extended pause, Ugetsu would never say it if it weren’t true. He wouldn’t spare Akihiko’s feelings if there was nothing to gain from it. He was stupidly, reliably, stubbornly honest like that.

Maybe Akihiko was bitter and lonely most of the time, but there was one person out there that still loved him, as fucked up as they both were. Akihiko realized that, if Ugetsu let him, he could love that man for the rest of his life.

Ah, he needed a smoke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've said it before and I'll probably keep saying it until I finish this work but their relationship is so hard for me to write. I just can't figure out how they stand with each other at any given point. Anyway, I'm having fun writing it, and I've had the last chapter planned out for some time.
> 
> Next chapter is the halfway point, which means the other members of Given will be popping in! First is Haruki :)
> 
> I appreciate all the kudos and comments! Feel free to message me on [tumblr](https://candysams.tumblr.com/) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/candysamstwit) too :D


	5. Entr'acte: Haruki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akihiko thinks Nakayama from lecture is... interesting, to say the least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And after the intermission comes the entr'acte >.<
> 
> I didn't mean to take so long to write this but school is kicking my ass right now and threw me in a pit of writer's block. Luckily, the entire second half of the story is mapped out and I've already started on the next chapter.
> 
> In this chapter we meet the first band member, Haruki :) (and Ugetsu basically isn't here, rip)

On the first day of class, Akihiko ended up sitting next to a man named Nakayama Haruki.

It was completely by chance that he’d mindlessly chosen a seat and wound up next to such a pretty face. Judging by the expression on Nakayama’s face when they first spoke to each other, he hadn’t been expecting to sit next to Akihiko either—he had a reputation, and it was rather unsavory. They had passed each other on campus a couple times, but this was their first official meeting. Akihiko could only hope that rumors trickled slowly from the music undergrads to Nakayama’s circle of film postgrads.

If Nakayama knew about the whispers surrounding Akihiko, he didn’t bother to mention them. Instead, they filled the spaces between their professor’s ramblings with blissfully mundane subjects like smoking, papers, and music. Akihiko loved when they talked about music.

Nakayama hadn’t dedicated his school years to music, but it was clear he held an easily stoked passion for the subject, hidden by his outward love for film. He had been playing the bass for nearly as long as Akihiko had been playing the violin and could read all four music clefs. He had a wealth of experience performing on stage with various bands, and the way he described the rush of a live show gave Akihiko goosebumps. Nakayama may not sell out a concert hall, but his confidence and passion intimidated Akihiko.

He wanted to steal some of that fiery passion, even if it was only enough to light a candle. He longed for the day he could pursue music simply because he loved it, without others pulling him in like a fish on a hook. He dreamed of the heat of the stage lights, sweat sticking his shirt to his back as he poured his soul out with every hit to his drums. He wished he got a dreamy look in his eyes whenever he thought about music, the same look Nakayama boasted when he shared a new bass line he had composed.

It was the same music Akihiko had always loved, just in a different package. Akihiko would chase it to the ends of the earth if it brought him a shred of happiness.

Akihiko had been blind before meeting Nakayama. There was a plethora of music and passion and opportunity hidden just past the scroll of his violin, but he had been ignorant to it until his classmate offered to share his earbuds. Akihiko wanted his music to be free, just like Nakayama’s.

Somehow, Akihiko had a bad habit of wanting things he couldn’t have or couldn’t keep.

Nakayama had asked about Akihiko’s snare once, but nothing had come from that conversation just yet. Akihiko wasn’t quite sure what he wanted to come from the sideways glances Nakayama snuck of him and his instrument during class, but he didn’t bother to ask Nakayama. Still, he brought his snare every week, hoping it would trigger a further reaction from his classmate.

It was nothing more than wishful thinking. Nakayama’s last band had disbanded before the semester started, but there was no way he didn’t have other options to explore. Akihiko had listened to a recording of him improvising and it was clear he was talented, even more than some of his fellow music majors. There was a chance Nakayama just wanted to focus on film for the time being, or maybe he was playing support for a couple groups, or maybe he just didn’t want someone like Akihiko to taint something so special to him.

Akihiko didn’t blame him, but he continued to bring his snare to class. Just in case.

He had almost completely dozed off when he felt an elbow nudging him awake. Nakayama was staring at the board at the front of their room as if he hadn’t done anything, dutifully copying down the details of their next assignment. Akihiko straightened up, copying down the due date as his classmates started to file out of the room. He tried not to sleep during class, since the risks of him being caught chewing in his sleep by Nakayama were far too high, but a long night in someone else’s bed had left him completely drained.

“Smoke break? Nakayama offered, holding up a fresh box of cigarettes. Unlike Akihiko, he looked _too_ wired, like someone had spilled a container of sugar in his morning coffee. “You look like you need it.”

Akihiko scoffed. If he hadn’t been so tired, he would have mentioned that Nakayama spent the entire class period fidgeting in his chair, tapping his foot at varying speeds like a metronome gone haywire. His constant movement and leg-shaking had made it a little harder for Akihiko to doze off during class until the very end, when he finally took a breather and stopped fidgeting long enough for Akihiko to close his eyes.

They meandered to the rooftop, where a couple other students were milling about and smoking their own cigarettes. It was windy, but not windy enough to put out the light of a cigarette. Nakayama lit his first, then passed his lighter as if Akihiko didn’t have his own.

Nakayama was just like that. He offered his lighter—and cigarettes—without asking. His notes were detailed and color-coded with impeccable handwriting. He once showed off pictures of his bass with the same amount of excitement and wistful longing that someone would devote to a beloved pet or newborn child. If a joke was funny enough, he laughed so hard his face turned bright red and he started to hiccup. Even in the nastiest of breezes, his honey-blond hair looked soft and tangle-free, framing the pale skin of his face.

If he couldn’t have a purpose and he couldn’t have his best friend, perhaps he could have this?

He wanted this. He wanted Nakayama Haruki in whatever capacity he was allowed, even if it was just for the occasionally smoke break after class.

“Stop staring at me like that.” Nakayama snatched his lighter back, a raging blush coating his cheeks. Akihiko hadn’t realized he had been staring long enough to be noticed, but it didn’t matter. Nothing would come of this anyway.

He pressed his cigarette to his lips, directing his attention to the smoke he exhaled drifting away with the breeze. If he timed his breaths right, the smoke mingled with Nakayama’s before dissipating.

“You’re acting weird.” Nakayama said.

“So are you.” Akihiko replied. Nakayama squawked, his face turning pink, as if he hadn’t expected Akihiko to notice. It was hard not too; Akihiko’s ear had been pressed to the table, amplifying Nakayama’s excessive pen-tapping.

“Can I say something crazy?” Nakayama asked, squeezing his cigarette between his fingers until it gave in the middle.

“Go ahead.”

“I want to start a new band!” Nakayama exclaimed, loud enough to garner stares from a couple students passing by on the sidewalk below them. Akihiko didn’t doubt that he’d see more curious eyes if he turned around to look at the other roof occupants. It sounded like a bad love confession, an expulsion from his heart because his chest couldn’t bear the weight of it anymore. Akihiko guessed that everything he said came so honestly from his heart, with varying degrees of excitement and anxiousness. Nakayama didn’t seem like one to hide himself from the world.

“I think you should do it.” Akihiko wasn’t sure what he was expected to say, but reassurance was probably close. For someone of Nakayama’s caliber to feel like this confession was ‘something crazy’ meant he probably just needed the confidence to go through with it. The rest would click into place once he got the ball rolling.

Nakayama spun around to face him, so suddenly that Akihiko nearly dropped his cigarette. His eyes were wide and honest and… desperate?

“I want you in my band!” A finger poked his sternum, so unapologetically bold that Akihiko wondered if Nakayama was actually home sick and had sent his more confident twin brother to class in his place.

“Me?” Akihiko was so stunned that he couldn’t get out more than a word in protest.

“You’re a drummer, right? I’m a bassist.” Nakayama took a step closer, eyes sparkling with hope and determination. Akihiko wasn’t sure how he’d be leaving the rooftop if he dared to say no. “I met a guitarist last week who might consider leaving his current band if we got together. I’m sure we could convince him, together.”

Akihiko found that he really, really didn’t want to say no.

“Even if he doesn’t join us, we can still make music!” Nakayama continued. “We can try composing together and work on finding a different guitarist! Then we could play at lives and—”

Akihiko had to stop him. Nakayama wanted too much, his hopes were too high. Akihiko didn’t know how to hope without it biting him in the ass later, and he didn’t want to crush Nakayama’s spirits or hurt him later. Regardless, he had already made up his mind.

This could be fun.

“I’m in.” He grinned, bringing his cigarette back up to his lips to disguise anything that might give away his excitement. It didn’t matter, given the way Nakayama’s face lit up at his words. He was starry-eyed enough for the both of them.

“Really?” Nakayama pumped his fist in the air, too excited to notice his cigarette falling onto the concrete under their feet. Akihiko stamped it out, amused. “Yes! This is going to be great; I promise! This kid’s incredible, I think you’ll really like him.”

Akihiko laughed. “You talk too much, Nakayama.” He pulled out a fresh cigarette and lit it, passing it to Nakayama to make up for his loss.

Despite his cool tone, he couldn’t help but feel just as excited as the bassist.

“Haruki.” Nakayama giddily accepted the offering, although he simply let it rest in between his fingers. “Call me Haruki.”

“You talk too much, Haruki.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yayoi mentioned knowing Akihiko's interest in Haruki early on, so I decided why not here ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> Ugetsu was mentioned exactly once in the first draft of this chapter and then ended up being cut by the fourth...sorry Uge.
> 
> Next up: to the ocean!
> 
> Feel free to come talk to me on [tumblr](https://candysams.tumblr.com/) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/candysamstwit)!


	6. Oceanside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ugetsu is as cool as the ocean breeze and as warm as the sand under Akihiko’s feet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not quite sure how this chapter got to be this long, but its the longest chapter in this fic by like, a solid 500 words. Obligatory Given ocean moment.
> 
> Anyway, I present to you: a quick blast to the past of our favorite violin duo!

“You tricked me.”

That was betrayal if Akihiko ever heard it. He tore his gaze away from the sparkling water, unsurprised to find a fuming Ugetsu behind him. Even if Ugetsu hadn’t seen the ocean just past Akihiko’s head, it was obvious from the sound of the waves and the smell of the air that they were nowhere near the place Akihiko was supposed to call home.

If he were being honest, Akihiko was surprised they had actually made it to the beach before Ugetsu noticed something was off. Anyone else would have caught him twenty minutes ago, when their bus turned left instead of right out of the station. It was Ugetsu’s poor sense of direction and complete ignorance about the Tokyo public transportation system that had allowed Akihiko’s plan to work.

“So?” Akihiko spread his arms the best he could with his violin in hand. They had gone to the bus stop right after school, which meant no time to change out of their school uniforms and no time to ditch their backpacks and instrument cases. Akihiko was already starting to sweat with the sun beating down on him, but that could also be attributed to the glare Ugetsu was giving him.

He did feel a little guilty but going home meant telling his parents where he had been for the last week. It meant explaining who exactly the person lingering on the doorstep was and what he meant to Akihiko. It meant asking permission to follow neither of them, to pave his own path in the world. It would decide the course of the rest of Akihiko’s life.

Akihiko wasn’t man enough to do all that, even with Ugetsu by his side. Not yet.

Ugetsu sighed, using his free hand to loosen the uniform tie around his neck. “You have to go home eventually, Aki.” To Akihiko, Ugetsu’s house was already home. They just had to make it official.

“I will, I promise.” Eventually, he will. Eventually, his parents will call him. Eventually, he will need something he left behind.

“I think you’re making a mountain out of a molehill.” Ugetsu said. He plopped down on the bench at the bus stop, brushing his hair out of his face. It was just long enough to fit behind his ears, although he usually let it hang over his eyes. Akihiko sat down next to him, propping his violin case up in between his knees. “Your parents will probably say yes—the year’s almost over, anyway. And neither of them wants to stay nearby, but there’s no point in you transferring schools a couple months before graduation.”

Sometimes, Ugetsu was annoyingly right. Even if his motives were more suspicious and the logistics hazy, his carefree parents were likely to agree to their plan. “I’ll go home after this, I promise.” Akihiko relented. Ugetsu still looked skeptical—rightly so, as Akihiko had said those same words during their last class of the day—but he let the topic drop.

“So,” Ugetsu said instead, “I haven’t been to the beach in a while.”

It felt like home when Akihiko took Ugetsu’s hand. He pulled Ugetsu with him to the sand, ignoring his half-assed remarks about the heat and the pedestrians and the humidity’s effects on his violin. None of them mattered once he felt Ugetsu squeeze his fingers, as if to say _I’ll let you have your fun_. The sun was warm, the wind was cool, and Ugetsu’s hand was sweaty. Akihiko wanted to remember this.

He let go of Ugetsu when they reached the sand, only so they could take off their shoes and socks and stuff them into their backpacks. Ugetsu stripped off his jacket too, and Akihiko unbuttoned his shirt and let it blow open in the breeze. “I see why you really brought me here.” Ugetsu poked Akihiko’s bare stomach until he laughed, swatting his sweaty hand away. “You just wanted to show off!”

“It’s not my fault you have no muscle.” Akihiko teased back, ruffling Ugetsu’s messy hair. The wind was starting to create tangles in it, the residual salt in the air cementing the knots in place. “Stay close to me; if the wind picks up, it might blow you away.”

“Shut up!” Ugetsu kicked his shin, but the effect was lost without shoes. Akihiko didn’t stop laughing as he bounced a couple steps away, relishing in the heat emanating from the sand under his feet. He started laughing harder when Ugetsu took a step forward, his face twisting when his toes sunk into the sand.

“You look like you’ve never been to the beach before.” Akihiko laughed. “A little sand in your toes won’t hurt you.”

Ugetsu glared at him. “I don’t care about the beach much. It’s too loud, too hot, and the sand gets everywhere.” He hoisted his violin case higher, tucking it under his arm like he was afraid sand would infiltrate the zipper opening.

Akihiko wasn’t surprised that Ugetsu hated something as universally likeable as a beach—he was against cell phones too—but he doubted it was for the reasons Ugetsu mentioned. Noise had never been a problem for him, and he relished the hot months while they lasted. Sand could be annoying, and it _did_ get everywhere, but it was nothing a shower and a vacuum couldn’t fix.

Emotions, however, could get the best of him. If Ugetsu didn’t know how to deal with them, he simply didn’t.

A picturesque beach and all its associated ideas of family and fun were practically designed to shut Ugetsu’s brain down. Akihiko had found this specific beach through an ad online, choosing it because it gave off the impression that one would be happy—lucky, even—to die there. When he saw it, he had the overwhelming urge to bring the one he loved to visit such a place with him, to share those emotions he felt when he first saw the picture. So, he did.

“Why did you bring me here?” Ugetsu’s voice cut through his thoughts.

“I thought it would be a good date.” Akihiko half-lied. “I was right.”

“I’m miserable.”

“That’s because we haven’t hit the water yet!” Akihiko let the crash of the waves behind him drown out Ugetsu’s whines. “Let’s put our stuff down.” He whipped a towel out of his backpack before replacing it on his back, taking the lead through the sand until he deemed them close enough to the water and far enough from the washed-up driftwood. He laid the towel out on the sand, weighing it down with their backpacks and school jackets. There was just enough space in the middle of the towel for his violin, safe from any sand infiltration.

Free of his belongings, Akihiko ran to the ocean.

“Hey!” Ugetsu chased after him, weighed down by his backpack and instrument. “You can’t just leave your stuff there!” Akihiko would bet good money he wasn’t talking about his backpack and schoolbooks.

“No one’s going to steal it.” Akihiko shrugged, the ocean lapping at his heels. “I can see the towel from the water. Besides, it’s not like someone can inconspicuously steal an instrument.” The two of them had gotten weird looks just by riding the bus with their violins—Akihiko couldn’t imagine the looks a beachgoer clad in his swimsuit would get if he started dragging a bulky instrument case through the sand.

Ugetsu didn’t look convinced, but he did look like he had made up his mind. “Wait here.”

Akihiko watched Ugetsu rearrange the towel and its items, folding up the edges to make a better barrier against the sand and covering their violin cases with their backpacks and jackets to make them less noticeable. Then he rolled up the ends of his pants and ran back to Akihiko, kicking up sand and nearly slipping in his rush.

He didn’t have to rush. Akihiko was willing to wait.

“Better?”

“Yeah, better.” Ugetsu tucked a lock of messy dark hair behind his ear. “I just can’t wait to feel the wet sand and seaweed squishing under my feet like I’m walking barefoot through quicksand.

“Don’t be sarcastic.” Akihiko flicked him in the forehead. “Come on, the beach closes after sunset.”

They waded ankle-deep into the water, the water nipping up their legs with every rise and fall of the tide. Ugetsu shivered, despite the warm temperature. Akihiko felt hot, even with his shirt billowing open in the wind.

“Are you a shoujo manga protagonist?” Ugetsu laughed. Akihiko turned and stuck his tongue out at him, succeeding in making Ugetsu laugh more. “You look like a gigolo, with just a tie and an open shirt!”

“Oh, yeah?” Akihiko wrapped his arm around Ugetsu’s waist, crouching down to get a better grip before easily hefting Ugetsu onto his shoulder like a large sack of rice. It was hard to fathom just how light Ugetsu was, although he was certainly the heaviest bag of rice Akihiko had ever carried. It was easy for Akihiko to pick him up and twirl him around and have his way with him, if he desired.

“Stop! Stop!” Ugetsu squealed, nails scratching at his back in an attempt to get a solid grip and steady himself.

Akihiko relented and stopped spinning, but he didn’t let Ugetsu down. Ugetsu cursed at him as he waded into deeper waters, the ends of his pants instantly becoming soaked. Still, Ugetsu smacked his back and squirmed to try escaping Akihiko’s hold and touching ground again. “I think you need to cool down!” Akihiko declared. He pinched the back of Ugetsu’s thigh in warning, buying him a split-second of stillness before he dropped like a dead weight into the water, still holding Ugetsu. The last thing he heard before going under was Ugetsu’s scream getting cut off by the crash of the water swallowing them both.

Akihiko got back up easily, but Ugetsu broke the surface like a drowning fish, wet hair plastered to his face in a decent imitation of seaweed. He coughed out a mouthful of salty water, giving Akihiko the middle finger the whole time. “I hate you.” Ugetsu managed to say while hacking up a lung.

“Too bad.” Akihiko chuckled. “I like you.” He reached for Ugetsu, his touch almost immediately calming down his erratic splashing. Akihiko swept Ugetsu’s wet bangs out of his face, trying not to laugh at the glare underneath them. He looked like a wet shaggy dog, especially when his hair covered his eyes. He also looked like he was ready to bite Akihiko’s hand off, like a dog longing for vengeance.

“You’re the worst.”

“You love me.” Akihiko gave Ugetsu’s back a couple friendly pats, helping his coughing settle.

“How are we supposed to get home now?” Ugetsu gestured wildly at their school uniforms, which were soaking wet and plastered to their bodies like a second skin.

“I brought another towel.” Akihiko offered.

“Like that will help us.” Ugetsu huffed, crossing his arms. “I don’t know why you wanted to come here.”

“This place is beautiful, I just wanted to share it with you.” Akihiko poked Ugetsu’s cheek, turning his face until he could see the sun at the end of the horizon. It was just starting to set, casting the sky in vibrant oranges and pinks and reds. The light reflecting on the water made the entire ocean sparkle, an endless sea of glistening waves standing before them. Ugetsu looked speechless as he took in everything Akihiko had seen in that online ad, but he had the advantage of looking at it in person. The drops of water trickling down Ugetsu’s face sparkled too. Akihiko couldn’t tell the difference between ocean water and tears, but he wiped them away with his thumb anyway.

At his touched, Ugetsu turned to look at him, eyes wide. “I haven’t seen a sunset like this before.” He admitted. “I can’t see the sky from my window.”

“You should go out more often.” Akihiko whispered. If all their plans fell together and he moved in with Ugetsu, he hoped he could still see the sunset. They could go together, even if it meant dragging each other away from their violins for twenty minutes every night. It would be worth it, to share a moment as special as the end of a big day.

“You should kiss me right now, Akihiko.” Ugetsu stood up, water rolling off his clothes and disturbing the surface around him.

“Here?” Akihiko’s gaze flicked over Ugetsu’s head, where a couple pedestrians still occupied the beach. It was nearly empty, but they weren’t entirely alone.

“You should do it before I change my mind.” That was all the permission Akihiko needed.

His lips were cold and salty, just like Akihiko had guessed. Ugetsu shivered under his touch, melting against his chest to counter the breeze cooling his soaked clothes. After all this, the least Akihiko could do was wrap his arms around Ugetsu and share his warmth. He would share everything if he could.

It was a good date, all things considered. Akihiko wished the rest of their relationship looked more like a blinding sunset than the seaweed on the sand.

* * *

Ugetsu hated cell phones, and he hated televisions. He claimed they stifled creativity and turned people into mindless zombies, slaving away behind a screen. He left his cell phone behind every chance he got. The only entertainment allowed in their home was a radio, simply because neither of them could live without music.

It made it awfully boring whenever Ugetsu was gone. Akihiko would cook and clean and practice, but there was still time left in the day. The only thing left to do was twiddle his thumbs until his housemate came home and entertained him, even if it became an argument. Most of the time, it was pointless to try to contact Ugetsu wherever he had ventured. His phone was on him for safety purposes, but the chances he ever used it were slim to none.

Despite his poor track record, he did send out the occasional text. Akihiko had been sitting in lecture when his phone buzzed in his pocket, providing him a distraction from the droning tone of his professor. When he saw Ugetsu’s name lit up on his screen, he immediately assumed the worst.

He nearly fell out of his chair when he saw the carefree message, highlighted by the picture of a beach somewhere in Spain. The sun was balanced at the edge of the water, lighting the sky on fire with its vibrance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first time I wrote this, they were in college. I think it wasn't until the third draft that I said fuck it and wrote them back in high school until the end.
> 
> So close to the end! I predict I'll be finished by early January :3 not sure if any other chapter will reach this length though...
> 
> Up next: We get to see Uenoyama for the first time


	7. Nobody

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is what he is reduced to, in Akihiko’s mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this....was not supposed to take so long *.* oops
> 
> anyway, here's Ue!

Uenoyama Ritsuka was a cool kid.

He turned fifteen a couple months ago and held more confidence in his music skills than Akihiko had at that age. He’s composed a decent amount of his own songs but was wise enough to take a step back and listen to Haruki and Akihiko’s input—especially for the bass and drums. The band’s current practice schedule was a little limited due to his lack of non-walking transportation and high school coursework—he’s in the science track in school, as if Akihiko wasn’t impressed enough—but the three of them managed to work around it. It was clear from the start that Uenoyama was their equal, nothing less. Akihiko had been right to trust Haruki’s judgement in this, because the kid is truly one-of-a-kind.

It was also clear from the moment Akihiko met the guitarist that he’s the younger brother of that girl in the art class Akihiko modeled for. Their faces were incredibly similar, the last name only confirmed it. He’ll bring it up one day, after they’ve grown comfortable enough as a band to withstand whatever fallout might come from that.

“Sorry, Kaji-san.” Uenoyama grumbled, zipping up his backpack and slinging it back over his shoulder. “I left my phone in the studio, I’ll be right out.”

Akihiko grunted, waving him off. He and Haruki alternated bringing Uenoyama home after late practices, and today was Akihiko’s turn. It was a temporary measure, just until they managed to snag an earlier timeslot or a studio space closer to Uenoyama’s home. It only delayed Akihiko’s return home by a couple extra minutes, and he didn’t mind the sparkly-eyed look Uenoyama gave him every time he rode on the back of Akihiko’s bike. It was nice to feel appreciated every once in a while.

The kid gave him starry eyes during practice too, but Akihiko brushed those off. It was just a boyish crush, nothing that would lead anywhere and nothing that could be so detrimental to the band that Akihiko would have to risk embarrassing him just to set the record straight. Akihiko wasn’t even sure Uenoyama was aware of it, but Haruki seemed to have caught on and was extra dramatic with his goodbyes whenever it was Akihiko’s turn to play chauffeur.

It shouldn’t take long for Uenoyama to reemerge from the studio, but Akihiko lit a cigarette anyway. He needed it, after a surprisingly stressful band practice. Haruki had managed to book them their first gig, but they were the last-minute replacements for a different act. They only had one more week to get ready, and Akihiko still couldn’t decide if he wanted to tell Ugetsu about it.

On one hand, it was Ugetsu who had bought him the drum set. He would want to know his money wasn’t being wasted by Akihiko, since he wasn’t home enough to hear him practice. On the other hand, he was Ugetsu, and that meant he would scrutinize every sound that came out of their instruments and critique it like they were a full-fledged group of professionals instead of a newly formed trio operating around a high schooler’s bedtime.

Akihiko watched a car pull into the parking lot of the studio, too blinded by the headlights to recognize the vehicle until it was turned off. He took a quick drag of his cigarette, deciding he deserved the lung damage for not waiting inside for Uenoyama to return. It felt like the wind was starting to pick up, threatening the ember near his lips.

He should’ve known better. Speak—or think—of the devil and he will appear.

Haruki had been the one to book this studio, the only one with a cheap enough rate and the necessary free space to accommodate them immediately. Akihiko had been unable to protest the studio choice, and it was supposed to be temporary. Besides, it had a bit of star quality to it, considering its more famous patrons included one Murata Ugetsu.

Ugetsu hadn’t been planning another album, so Akihiko had thought he was safe. He was never thinking again.

At least Ugetsu looked just as surprised to see him, when he finally stepped out of his car.

“Akihiko, what are you doing here?” Ugetsu spoke first, hurrying over with his violin case. “I thought you were at work.”

“I came here after work.” Akihiko replied. He offered a cigarette from his half-empty pack, knowing Ugetsu would decline. He didn’t want his violin to pick up the smell. “This is where my band practices, for now.”

“You joined a band?” Right, it had been so long since they last talked. They stayed under the same roof and slept under the same covers, but they hadn’t spoken a word to each other about anything other than sex in at least two months.

It felt like they had finally hiked to the top of the mountain in their relationship, only to be met with a sheer cliff face. They could only backpedal from here.

To Akihiko’s surprise, Ugetsu smiled. “When does the album come out?”

“Shut up.” Akihiko flicked his ear, even as Ugetsu burst into laughter. “We haven’t even played live yet. Our first show is next week.”

He shouldn’t have said that, but it slipped out since it was fresh in his mind. Ugetsu’s eyes lit up like the lights of a Christmas tree, and they twinkled like stars.

“No!” Akihiko immediately shut him down. “You’re not invited!”

“Aw, why not?” Ugetsu pouted. “Are you scared of what I might think? Could you really be that bad?”

“Shut up, you only listen to trashy opera music or whatever.” Akihiko huffed. He was going to finish his cigarette in record time if Ugetsu continued to grind his gears. Still, it was nice to talk to him again. The silence was unbearable when Ugetsu’s presence had always held such a prominent spot in Akihiko’s life. He could barely remember a time before Ugetsu; how could he ever move past him?

“That’s not entirely true. I love a good banjo.” Ugetsu delivered his joke with a straight face, easily forcing another smile onto Akihiko’s face. He missed these rare moments between them, when the tension caused by anger bled into a different type. Give it a week and Ugetsu would be on his way to Russia. A month and he’ll be in China. England. Canada. It didn’t matter where he went, what mattered was that he always came back to Akihiko.

He could live like this for a little longer, feeding off these small moments. He could still survive, he thought, deft fingers swooping up to tuck some of Ugetsu’s hair behind his ear before the man could do it himself. It gave him a better look at Ugetsu’s eyes, warm with amusement.

“Kaji-san.” To Akihiko’s surprise, Uenoyama ended their conversation before Akihiko had a chance to. The kid was standing in front of the studio, the door already closed behind him. Akihiko had no idea how much he saw or how long he had been standing there, but he looked surprised. Maybe he recognized Ugetsu, or maybe he didn’t realize Akihiko could smile that much.

His cheeks were starting to hurt, now that he thought about it.

“I should go, Aki.” Ugetsu quickly said. “I have a duet to record.” He hurried up the stairs, dragging the smell of smoke up to Uenoyama before passing the kid without a second glance.

Akihiko was sad to see him go, and so off-put by his parting statement that he barely registered Uenoyama descending the stairs. Ugetsu doesn’t do duets. He’s accompanied by orchestras, by pianists, he’s played in quartets with the best of the best, but he doesn’t duet. He’s a little too stuck up to perform with someone else on equal footing like that—unless he’s found an equal. A second half. Someone to complete him.

“Kaji-san?” Uenoyama waved his hand in front of Akihiko’s face, trying to get his attention. He still looked confused, but Akihiko was relieved that he didn’t ask any questions. Luckily for them, the kid was too dense to pick up on any subtext, including the soft, flitty way Ugetsu always said _Aki_. Akihiko wanted to threaten the kid to never mention this to Haruki, but that would only raise a couple thousand red flags. Uenoyama hadn’t seen anything too important, nothing that couldn’t be brushed off after a second thought. “It’s getting late, are you ready to go?”

Akihiko snorted. “You were the one to forget your phone.” He stamped out the remains of his cigarette, willing the butterflies in his stomach to die with the ashes. “Come on, Uesama.” He climbed onto his bike, waiting for Uenoyama to get on behind him.

“Who were you talking to?” Uenoyama sounded as casual as he could asking that question, climbing onto the bike with his gaze fixed on the studio door. “He looked familiar.”

Akihiko looked up, just in time to see a studio room’s light flick on. A second later and he found himself locking eyes with Ugetsu through the window.

“Nobody.” Akihiko said, not breaking eye contact. “I was talking to nobody.” He took off before Uenoyama could ask any more questions.

Uenoyama didn’t ask again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I headcanon Ue as just having one of those cute puppy crushes on Aki because he's cool and musically talented and has piercings. His young heart can't take it.
> 
> Only two more chapters left! Shit hits the fan next time, and we meet Mafuyu in the epilogue! (Which will hopefully be this month, not in March -.-)
> 
> Let me know what you think of this chapter! What could possibly happen next? Don't be afraid to come talk to me on [tumblr](https://candysams.tumblr.com/) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/candysamstwit)!


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